sharing is overrated

selfish (adj.): 

1. characterized by or manifesting concern and care only for oneself

2. concerned chiefly or only with yourself and your advantage to the exclusion of others

One of the first lessons we learn in social skills in the sandbox is sharing. Think about it--all we're ever told as little kids is to "play nice" and "share." The opposite of sharing, selfishness, is abhorred by mothers of 4 year-olds everywhere. Selfishness is a bad thing, and children who don't share must not be raised right (or so the soccer moms accuse). As we get older, sharing moves to issues beyond shovels and sandboxes. How generous are you with your time? Have you booked every ounce of your schedule so that all of your energy is shared with someone or something? How much money have you given to whatever humanitarian aid cause is the latest fad? 

What I can't figure out is why no one ever told me it's okay to be selfish with my heart. Why is it that now, at 24, this is such a huge lesson for me to learn? Too often, I make excuses for my need to take time for myself. Instead of meeting you for coffee, I tell you I'm "tired." Instead of catching a late-night movie, I claim that I "have work to do." When I make these paltry excuses, what I'm really asking for is your approval. I'm begging you to tell me it's okay to take the time to care for myself. I need you to tell me it's okay to be selfish with my heart, because I don't trust myself to do it on my own.